One Parent to Another

One Monday night a few weeks ago, my daughter Maddie & I were deciding where to go for dinner. I joked that we could go to “Yours Truly” for Kids Night like we used to do when she was little. We laughed over the image of her sitting in one of the tiny chairs making a paper bag puppet with pipe cleaners and glitter, all the other kids clinging to their parents not wanting to go make puppets because there is a “big scary girl” over there.

You see, my daughter likes to dress well…differently. She wears lots of black, chains on her pants, skull & cross bones on her shirts, and spiky bracelets. Since she first started dressing this way over a year ago we have both had to learn how to handle strange looks. Usually we can laugh about it, but sometimes it hurts.

Like the time we were shopping at Berean Christian bookstore, loading up on good stuff to read and Skillet CD’s. Maddie went out to sit on the bench by the door while I checked out. A woman walked in, stopped and gave Maddie a nasty look as if to say “what are you doing here?” then she opened up the door and walked into a place full of items that are supposed to help us learn to be more like Jesus. Does that seem strange to anyone but me?

I will admit that I did not really care for her new style choice at first. I was glad she was not wanting to wear really short skirts and skimpy shirts, but still this look was pretty scary to me. I remember her coming home from EDGE band practice one night last year telling me all about this really cool couple that looked just like her. I met Micah & Jessica Irwin for first time at the next EDGE night. He was all decked out in baggy black pants with chains, big spiky jewelry, black nail polish, and blue tipped mohawk. (Many of you know them, or will remember him from the Café where he often played bass) I could see right away why Maddie thought he was cool…but as I got to know him & Jessica I learned that it goes way deeper than that. They are so genuine in their love for God and for others. They live their lives and their faith to the fullest.

I am so glad that they were there for Maddie at time when she was trying to figure out her identity. They showed her that you can love Jesus and live for him and still be who you are. They also challenged me to look beyond the surface with people. I will be forever grateful for all they poured into my daughter’s life and for helping me to understand my own child better.

Styles come and styles go, but it is the heart that matters most. And if you ever find yourself thinking that some kid is trouble just because he wears chains on his pants or has funky hair, I want you to go and get out your high school senior picture…now that is pretty scary!

Carol Ann Utrup
a.k.a. Maddie’s Mom